reasons to live: a reminder of
when things get tough for me

1:19AM 11/3/24 cw: sex

I took an eddie and got my shit rocked 3x by my man. He couldn't help himself and I felt so much pleasure. His mouth against my ear. When I had to get up I couldn't help but think... yeah yup that's a good reason to live for, sex with my man <3

2:38AM 11/8/24

I hadn't had a good meal in a while. After work, I had my mind set on a cheeseburger and my wonderful man took us to our our fav spot Zac's Burger. I got a double cheeseburger with tomato, onion, lettuce, zac sause aaaand I added mushrooms! When our lovely server came with our food, she gave me his little zac burger first but I do not blame her. She does not know the beast within. First bite and I swear this burger was going to heal me. The huge headache I had before was nearly gone within SECONDS! So shout out to that wonderful amazing chez borgur. I had it with fries and a cookies and cream milkshake. Yah.. today was amazing.

2:01PM 02/04/2025

I've cut back on smoking weed by sooooo much. It used to be the thing I did every day and it was really fun, but I'd lose sight of my life. It used to be a necessary thing to heal from deep wounds. It helped slow down things and appreciate the moments in front of me and not thinking of the past or the future. I thought it'd made my art better. I thought it made me better, and maybe it did but I lost myself along the way.

I can't say I quit for good, but I go on long stretches of time not touching it. I restrict myself to only the weekends, if any, but I usually have plans with my family that I'll lose the window of the time. And that is completely fine with me, nothing is more important than spending time with my sisters and my parents. My memory has been improving and my focus and discipline have never been stronger. I'm much happier and I'm becoming more responsible (which is something I struggled with for most of my 20's despite living away from home for 5 years). Things are really looking up and I want to continue my strides. :')) big ups